Shiz Friends Say Part II

10:18 PM Spence 0 Comments

I know it's been a while, but calm down... I was taking a WELL-DESERVED summer break. Well, now school is back in, which means I am busier than ever. That also means that I make more time to blog. Doesn't make sense? I know, I'm a crazy person.

Here is the second edition (on this blog, at least) of 'Shiz Friends Say.' It's really not my fault... You all just speak gold. Enjoy.

"I used to be metrosexual. Can you believe that?! I even had a bic in my shower."
-Tyler the Co-worker

"So Spencer... I'm sure you've recognized by now that I'm pretty odd, but I just have to tell you that I've had the Grease soundtrack stuck in head head for three days straight." - Tyler the Co-worker
"What song are you singing the most?" - Me
"Definitely Beauty School Dropouts. It probably explains a lot about me, huh?" - Tyler

"When most people reminisce about their 'glory days,' they're generally referring to a time AFTER they've hit puberty." - Mark

"I swear I'm not stalking you..." - Lindsey
"We just have the same pee schedule." - Me

"Believe me, they aren't surprised. They know me, and you have a nosering." - Me

"If you were a mermaid, that would be reeeeeally pretty!" - Emily
"I know, but I'm not a mermaid this time." - Me

(At the grocery store with Mamacita)
"We don't need anything from this aisle." - Mom
"That's because it's the baking aisle, and you only come here if you're making things from scratch." - Me
"Are you freaking kidding me?!" - Mom

"That girl is always gnawin' on a pickle." - Lindsey

"I don't like to use my hands so I try to sneeze on the floor." - Tyler the Co-Worker

"Yeah! Don't drink and drive! And don't drowsy drizzle!" - Lindsey

"What are you doing?" - Mark
"Pretending I'm a hamster." - Me
"Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to." - Mark

"I just wasn't sure how I'd tell this story in the future without giving away which of my friends is the hermaphrodite." - Mark

"Well, life's tough for a hermaphrodite." - Me

"Did ya get my sausage?!" - Mark
*Waitress pretends she didn't hear that...*

"Did you see that lightning last night?!" - Amber
"No, my room is in the basement so I don't get much action." - Spencer
"Ummmm...." - Amber


I'm going to stop there for tonight... So many more to come!

0 comments:

Shameless PR Plug: Sonicare EasyClean

9:38 PM Spence 1 Comments

Ladies & Gents,

I have made an investment.

It has been exactly seven days since I materialistically fell in love with my new purchase. I don't use the word 'love' lightly. I spent what most people have told me is "too much" or an "overabundance of money" for something that is simply "not worth it."

Well, they're wrong. It was and is totally worth it. That's why it's called an investment. Investments don't sound as bad as impulsively spending $96.15 for a toothbrush.

So why on earth would I do that? I blame my Aunt Jenn.

You see, she is a dental hygienist and not only that, but she has
impeccable teeth. You just can't see it behind her mask.

Some of you may know that I have some obsessive compulsive problems with oral hygiene. You would probably be surprised to hear how many times a day I brush my teeth. (To those of you who I have kissed... You're welcome). Also, I have to admit I have whitening trays that I use a few times a year. Judge me. Sue me. Whatever. I find white teeth attractive. Anyway, I just feel like they get gritty and yellow(ish) faster than they should. Am I a tad overdramatic by saying yellow? Probably.

Naturally, I decided to call Auntie Jenn in a panic and ask her what to do. She suggested that I purchase the Sonicare EasyClean. So I looked it up online. $89.95?! Ah, heck no!

But wait... how much am I spending to keep my teeth white? Hmm. How often am I buying toothbrushes that do not satisfy my needs? Hmm x 2. So I contemplated... for two months. And then one day, I had finally had it! I had to get one. I just had to.

So I went to Walgreen's (you can find one there) and purchased my very own Sonicare EasyClean brush. I was so excited to go home and try it out. After the two minute timer turned off, I was in heaven. Literally. I couldn't have been happier. Since that moment, I have brushed my teeth a countless number of times per day, and I have noticed a huge difference in the feel, color and cleanliness of my teeth and gums.


I'm excited to brush my teeth again! Sonicare's ad should read something like this, "Sonicare: making you a more delightful person to kiss."

A little too infomercial-ish? Don't care. You need one of these. Aunt Jenn says to get the least expensive one because they other ones really aren't worth the extra money. That's what I did and obviously, I'm in love. However, I did find a Groupon the other day for the brush that is regularly $199.99 and it was on sale for $69.99 (or something like that). If you're interested, let me know and I'll send you the link.

A word to the wise... I don't recommend buying a used one from Amazon. But who am I to judge?

1 comments:

The Happiness Project Part III

6:37 PM Spence 2 Comments


I have an amazingly supportive family. I have incredible friends. So why do I always insist that I have to bear my burdens alone?

Last year I decided to ride the Salt Lake Century with my parents. It's a 100-mile bike ride that takes place in the Greater Salt Lake area (obviously). I've always wanted to do a ride like that, but let's be honest, I've never been the most coordinated or athletic person. Since I've been in my twenties, I have tried really hard to expand my interests and be more involved in physical activities in which I find interest. Among those activities are running and biking.

I had never ridden 100 miles before this ride so I wasn't exactly sure what I was getting myself into. Those of you who know my parents know that they are in extremely good shape. They could kick all of our butts in a race any day. In fact, my dad just completed a one-day ride from Seattle to Portland (over 200 miles) for the ump-teenth time. So naturally, when I went into this 100-miler, I was pretty nervous. 

This must have been before the ride because we all still look somewhat decent.
The weather was beautiful that day. It couldn't have been better for our ride. The first 20 miles were a piece of cake. I had my perfect playlist going, we had a good pace and I had eaten just the right amount of food. The next 20 miles were a breeze, and I began to get a little cocky. Forty miles and the worst thing that happened was that I really needed to pee. After that was taken care of, we were golden. Twenty more miles were no problem for me. I was waiting for this "wall" that everyone kept telling me about.

(This story relates to my topic, I promise).

You think I'm going to go another 20 miles before I get on with the story, don't you? Well, I'm not. At about mile 63, I hit "the wall." And holy cow, it was a wall. I was breathing fine, but I thought my legs were going to fall off. And yes, I mean that literally.

I began to panic that I might not be able to complete my goal of 100 miles after all. It was actually quite depressing. And then the worst part came... A hill. It seemed monstrous at the time, but you'll probably chuckle at me when I tell you it was just a freeway overpass. At the time, however, it may as well have been Mount Everest.

I really wanted to finish this ride. I needed to prove to myself that I could do something hard and unexpected. I had to finish. So I did the only thing I could think of while slowly pedaling along, I prayed. I prayed for strength to get over the overpass. I prayed for the strength to finish the ride. I prayed for whatever help I could get. Then, I began the ascension up the mountain ahead of me.

That's when I felt it. It was as if someone placed their hand on my back and began to push me up the hill. I know what you're thinking... did God really send Spencer an angel to push him? The answer is yes, He did.

I turned to look over my shoulder to see how on earth I was making it up that hill and to my surprise, I saw my dad. His hand was planted on my back and he was pushing both of us up that hill. I didn't have the energy to choke back the tears that came to my eyes. In that moment, in the two minutes it took him to get us to the top, my perspective on the ride and on my life had completely changed. I am so blessed.

I am blessed to have the family I do. I am blessed to have the four of them who love and support me, even during my roughest hours. I am blessed to have parents who carry me when I am weak and hold me up when I can't stand. I am blessed to have friends that say the right things at the right times and will never leave me stranded. I am blessed to have all these angels that I have been sent.

When we reached the top of Everest, my dad pushed me ahead of him and yelled up, "Keep going, I'm heading back down to get your mom."

The truth is, I coasted for a little bit after that. With tears streaming down my face, I offered one more prayer, but this time, I didn't ask for anything. The only think going through my mind was, "Thank you."

Since that ride, I have gone through many personal trials. I have had ups and downs and admittedly, some crazy moments. But every time, every single time, my parents, siblings and friends have been there for me. There isn't a single time where I have been left alone or felt misunderstood. As I look at the freeway overpass directly ahead of me, I still see Mount Everest. I have no idea how I'm going to get up there, but the one thing I know is that I'm not doing it alone.

100.51 miles that I didn't finish alone.

2 comments:

The Happiness Project Part II

8:39 PM Spence 2 Comments

I feel like this is a lesson I am learning over and over again.

It's ironic, really. I look back to all of the relationships I've had in the past and I think each one ended for this very reason. Either I was unhappy with myself and therefore, could not be happy with someone else or vice versa--they were unhappy with themselves and nothing I could do would change that.

Yes, other problems developed along the way, but I firmly believe that each problem stemmed from this. You cannot, I repeat, YOU CANNOT be happy with someone else until you can be happy being yourself.

All too often we plan our happiness by our progress or goals we plan to accomplish.

I'll be happy when this semester is over.
     I'll be happy when I have a significant other.
          I'll be happy when I have a good job.
               I'll be happy when I'm married.
                    I'll be happy when my car is paid off.
                         I'll be happy when I'm done with school.
                              I'll be happy when.....

No, you won't. 

If you judge your happiness by hitting checkpoints, you'll never get there because there will always be another checkpoint.

I'm not saying we shouldn't be happy when we reach a goal. That's good. But I have learned that I cannot expect reaching one goal will fulfill my need for happiness in every other aspect of my life. So, hard as it is, I am doing my best to be happy right now. Right here. In my dimly lit kitchen watching my mom run around cleaning a house that's already spotless.

So how do I become someone that makes ME happy?

Good question. That's opening a can of worms.

If I'm being honest, the first time I looked in a mirror and thought, "I like myself" was less than a year ago. I spent 24 years looking at all of the things about myself that weren't good enough. And even more than that, I only focused on the things I knew people didn't like about me. I thought if I could change them, conform and become more like everyone else, I would become a person that I actually wanted to be.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

It was not until I could look at myself and see the good things that I really began to develop any sort of self-esteem or confidence. Has that realization made this last year perfect? Hell no. It's still been the hardest year of my life, but I'm learning to be happy when it's hard. 

Who, exactly, do I want to be?
I don't know.

Where am I heading?
No clue.

The only thing I know right now is this human experience is full of ups and downs. I hit rock bottom so that I can feel alive when I'm soaring. I face tragedy so that I know when I see miracles. I'm confused so that I know when I do get a clear answer. And sometimes I can't stand myself so that I know when I'm on track to becoming who I want to be.

Who am I?
I'm Spencer. I'm fun, loyal, sincere, adventurous, spontaneous, "rebelliously obedient," anxious, sarcastic, spiritual, uncoordinated, quirky, determined, sometimes dramatic, capable, anxious, honest, real and most of all, imperfect. That's right.

So that's my goal. To be happy being me. To love myself when I feel like no one else does. To do the things that make me happy. To live and be alive. Everything else will happen along the way.

2 comments:

Matinee Movie Tuesday: Pacific Rim

10:37 PM Spence 0 Comments

So... we have a little tradition. For those of you who don't know, Cinemark movie theaters has this special deal where you can see any movie on Tuesday nights for the price of a matinee. That's a big deal for us college students. Amber, Kristi and I have become quite the dependable Tuesday movie-goers.

To make a long story short, all three of us generally like the same types of movies... until we start picking them apart, that is. We've decided that we'll each give a personal review of our movies so you can decide which movies will best suit you.

Disclaimer: We are NOT professionals, and we like it that way. We just know what real movie-goers want to see or don't want to see. So here begins our Amateur Movie Review.

Today we saw Pacific Rim. The previews gave us low expectations, but our action-loving junky friends were quite impressed. Amber and I entered the theater with mediocre expectations. (Kristi was in Ogden... she bailed. Someone throw rotten fruit at her. Thanks).

Amber


Liked: "I liked all of the action. The storyline was pretty good. Mostly, the main actor man was nice and attractive."

Disliked: "The girl. She was a whiney, sniveling little woman. I did not like her, and I tried really hard! They also tried to make it funny, but it didn't always pan out very well." 

Rating:  

Would you suggest this film to a friend? "It really depends on the friend. If you love action (not the romantic kind), you should see this. A lot of females really shouldn't see it. They'd be disappointed there was no romance.

Kristi


Liked: N/A. You ditched us.

Disliked: N/A Ditcher!

N/A. No show.

Would you suggest this film to a friend? You should probably see it with your friends for Tuesday traditions.

Spencer


Liked: "The action. It was like a perfect blend of Power Rangers, Transformers, Godzilla and an adult version of Monsters University. Don't worry about any of that love gunk. If you want to escape your dating or married life for a few hours, this is your chance."

Disliked: "Two of the main characters looked too much alike. The only difference was that one had an Aussie accent and one was American. It took me half of the movie to figure out how to tell them apart. I spent more time worrying about that than how society would defeat the alien monsters. Casting directors should really take that into consideration."

Rating:  

Would you suggest this film to a friend? "As I mentioned, I would suggest it to those who are in need of some action... Not THAT kind of action, but those who want to see buildings crushed, bombs, explosions, fights and alien monster warfare. If that appeals to you, then go see it. The Cinemark is even handing out free posters you can hang in your room. And... You're welcome."


Stay tuned faithful film fans. Next Tuesday will be another epic adventure.

0 comments:

Shiz Friends Say

7:37 PM Spence 0 Comments

"Did you know that there are only 5-7 percent of people that can smell the foods they eat in their urine? And, I am one of those people. This is why I don't get dates."
-Linze

"We tried to do it again. I mean, we tried to sleep together again. It's just his head and his back and his hips... They don't settle down!"
-Grandma Sharon (while talking about how Grandpa has to sleep in a chair rather than the bed...)

"I just don't like that they have chicken balls on the menu." -Mom
"Well, they have chicken breasts, why not chicken balls?" -Spencer
"You're right. They are just an equal opportunity restaurant." -Mom

"You should've seen your mother trying to protect my breakfast burrito!" -Dad

"Oh, you're allergic to shellfish?" -Waitress
"Yesh." -Me

"I haven't done this since I done it last time!" -Grandma Sharon

"You must be careful what kind of lettuce you eat. I'd stick with Romaine. Iceberg is what makes you gassy." -Grandpa Chuck

"I'm just really against bunny blasting." -Courtney (completely serious)

"I don't think you understand how passionate I am about wind power!" -Linze

Around the dinner table:
"Tanner, I sure hope your new family in Australia has a sense of humor..." -Me
(To me) "Well, you're just lucky that we do!" -Mom
"Me? What? Why?" -Me
"Are you kidding me?! You're freaking crazy!" -Mom (I wish she was kidding...)

One of my new co-workers was making fun of himself by how he pronounces 'two by four.' He says tube-uh-furr. While that was supposed to be the funny part of the story, he starts out with the phrase...
"So I was cutting my couch in half..."-Tyler the co-worker

"I wasn't going to have one of these red bulls, but that noise freakin' pissed me off. All I want is to scroll on my computer, but now I'm just gonna binge on caffeine." - Tyler the co-worker

While singing Alicia Keys' "If I Ain't Got You..."
"I know that song better than I know my wife." -Tyler the co-worker

"Get your hands out of your pocket, twit!" -Mom
(She really has something against Cat Deeley).

"Well, Spence... You're just going to have to make everything look good... except your face!" -Dad
(My family reeeeeally loves me...).


0 comments:

The Happiness Project Pt. I

8:02 PM Spence 1 Comments

"Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy."
 -Guillame Apollinaire

To all of you who care, I did it. I finally made the decision.

I am going to be happy, damn it.

For the last 25 years, I have waited for this moment. However, it's not what I expected. I have thought a lot about it this last year. I remember being young and looking forward to some time in my future (probably my mid-20s, because that seemed like a good time frame) and planning when I would be happy.

That's when I would finally have everything I always wanted.

Now I know it's not like that. We've all heard the cliché that happiness is a journey and not a destination. Yeah yeah I know... I'm pretty much a walking cliché lately.

In essence, this is true--hard as it may be to accept. If you know me well enough, you know how much I love Abraham Lincoln. He said,

"People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be."


This last year has been the hardest of my life. I'm not trying to exaggerate, be dramatic or receive attention or pity. I don't need it. The statement is just the truth.

With that being said, I'm going to take Abe's advice. About 6 months ago, I made a list of all the things that make me happy, and I promised myself to only focus on things I wrote on that list. Simple enough, right? Why didn't I think of that before?

Point is, I am not the person who focuses on having happiness in the future anymore. I want it now. Right now. We all know I'm suuuuper patient. I know that everything cannot be perfect at the moment, but that's why I've decided to focus on one thing at a time. This post will be an on-going list of things that I've learned. I don't expect anyone to read it, but it's here if it helps.

I don't expect that I will instantly become the happiest of people.

I don't expect that every decision I make will lead me to happiness.

I don't expect to pretend that every moment is perfect.

I do expect that I will become a happier person as I focus on one thing at a time, and that's what I intend to do. I will focus on the things that make me a better, stronger and overall, happier person.

Stay tuned, bloggers. This is going to be a loooooong project.

1 comments:

Duck... Duck... Tinder.

5:29 PM Spence 1 Comments

Think about it for a second. What games did everyone play as a child? Have things really changed all that much?

I vote that they haven't.

So I digress...

When I was young and playing "duck, duck, goose!" I loved being the goose.

But why, you ask?

Well, when you were playing, didn't you always call everyone a duck except for the person you wanted chasing you? Maybe it was subconscious, but I guarantee you did it too.

You picked your favorite person in the group and made them your goose. 

Yep.

I loved the feeling of being someone's goose, and I wanted them to be my goose too.

Have I really been a hopeless romantic from the tender age of 4?
Possibly. But that's not the point I'm trying to make.

My first point: The childish games aren't over.

Tinder is simply a virtual adult version of duck duck goose.

Proof of my "Tinderness."

I will be the first to admit that I was one of my first friends to download Tinder on my iPhone. It was hella fun. If I wasn't attracted to someone, I'd swipe left. When I finally stumbled across a cute one, I swiped right. And then I'd wait... for that person to chase me back.

It doesn't matter if one person doesn't {heart} you, because someone else will.

This isn't only a game we're playing with other people, we're playing it with ourselves too.
How many people will like us back?
How attractive will they be?
Will this one be cuter than the last?
Will my self-esteem increase? (Yes, it will, believe me).
It will increase when you see how many people want to make you their goose! (Even if they're only planning to do so for one night...).

My second point: It's a terrible way to date.

A few of my Tinder matches that were already my friends!
... And my cousin...

... Finding love is terrible in and of itself. Why would we put ourselves through yet another chase?

My first "real" Tinder experience was AWFUL. I found someone who I thought was attractive. We went on dates--quiet a few of them, actually. I loved the fact that we didn't know any of the same people. There were no inhibitions, no skeletons to hide and nothing to lie about.

... Or so I thought.

Come to find out, I had been terribly lied to. This person used Tinder as an opportunity to take advantage of me. And, it took me almost 2 months to figure that out.

Do I feel like my "Tinder Lover" actually cared about me?

Yes, I do. But I don't think it was enough to truly care for my well-being more than their own. But I can't say that I expect that after knowing someone for such a short amount of time either.

I had picked this person to be my goose. I even ran a little bit slower than normal just hoping to get caught and then, after I sat down, my Tinder Lover found another duck to love.

So I waited... for someone else to call me "goose."

My third point: It can be good, too.

Some more Tinder Lover Friends. If you look closely, you'll see
my cheek is actually cropped of the photo on the bottom right.
All of you who know me well are ready this saying, "What the heck...? He told me to get the app!"

It's true. I did, but why?

Because while you're sitting there in a circle full of ducks, someone is looking to make you their goose. You just have to wait your turn.

In a way, I feel like Tinder has taught me a few things:

  1. If you know what you want, go for it. It's not bad to be attracted to certain physical characteristics, but not everything can be based on that. Take time to get to know someone.
  2. If you feel like no one is attracted to you, swipe right a few times and you'll be surprised to find that maybe you're just a little too hard on yourself. Give yourself a chance because someone else is willing to.
  3. If you have a hard time feeling comfortable making conversation on date, this is a good start. Even if you just use opportunities such as these to practice, you can be bold without worrying about the reaction on the other end of the dinner table. You can't see the person, so what can it hurt? Be open, be yourself and get to know someone you may never meet otherwise.
  4. If you have trust issues, be careful. If you don't have trust issues, be careful. But most of all, don't give people a reason not to trust you. Be a stand up person. Remember that there is not a robot on the other side of that app, there is a person and all they want is to find their goose.
More Tinder Lover Friend matches! Love you all.

I admit my first Tinder experience didn't go so well. However, I tried it again and guess what? 

I had a really good experience. I got to know someone I really care about. I had a much needed wake up call. And I learned a lot about myself.

This last one didn't end how I would have liked. There's no use in hiding that. But even so, I don't regret it.

So, for now, I will slowly walk back to my place among the circle of ducks and wait for someone to make me their goose. And then I'll chase them. And I will catch them. However, it may or may not be on Tinder or similar dating apps. I'll take it as it comes.

It's just too bad that no one wins at duck duck goose. Who made up that game anyway?! And how do you know when it's over?

Just play. And enjoy it while it lasts.

And then sometimes you find your best friend and just need to have a little fun... :)

1 comments:

Dream On

10:37 AM Spence 0 Comments


The perfect time to step off a plane!

When one of your best friends calls to inform you he is getting married, what's the first thing you do?

Buy a plane ticket.

Well, at least you start looking for good prices. That's when your other best friends decide to come with you and make it an incredible weekend.

So Linze, Court and I planned a trip to LA.


It was one of the more interesting trips I've had with friends, but it brought us closer together than ever. I can say with complete honesty that I felt more comfortable than I have in years. The three of us get each other even though none of us are easy to understand on the surface. It's kind of ironic because we laughed harder than ever, cried with each other and even told each other the truth when we needed to hear it.

I can't explain the friendship that is there. All I can say is that it's real.

A day in Santa Monica.

        
Tales of a groomsman.






     Lance's wedding was exactly what I
     pictured it would be. Simple. Easy-going.
     Just like a Jack Johnson song. It was the
     first time I met his girl. She was exactly
     what I pictured she would be as well. I
     can tell that he is happy. I just can't believe
     how quickly time goes these days. Cliché,
     I know. I never understood what adults
     were saying. I think I'm starting to catch on.

Mr. and Mrs. Foust


We went to Disneyland. I'm not very good at theme parks. Maybe it's that whole patience thing, but lines are SO frustrating. Luckily, we didn't wait for more than 45 minutes for any ride. It's a good thing all three of us love the Tower of Terror. I could have just done that over and over all day.

Two things could make this actually the happiest place on earth...
No lines and better food. Just sayin'.
Typical Spencer & Linze pose.
Tower of Terror. Ain't nothin' betta.
We wanted to do a little dancing, but Linze may or may not have misplaced her ID somewhere in Hollywood. So we went to bed instead. The next night, Linze flirted with a bouncer and he let us in. NBD.

We be clubbin'.

One of my favorite parts of the trip was when Linze got us backstage passes to Aerosmith's rehearsal for the Hollywood Bowl! Um, yeah. May I just say that Steven Tyler is amazing in person. So there were were in the Bowl, which seats 18,000, and there were only about 50 of us getting a private performance from Aerosmith. Of course they performed one of my all-time favorites, "Dream On."
As Linze would say, "I felt the spirit."

Steven Tyler, ladies and gentlemen.

An empty stadium.

Beach day was another favorite part. Sunday brunch at The Kettle, naps on the beach and coveting the houses on the water always makes for a good time.
Sunday brunch.
Really...? You're going to push me off...?

Friends. Fun. Food. What else can you ask for?
(Ok, maybe a hotel that actually has a hot tub...)

Not ready to leave LA, but we're doing it anyway.

Don't worry Los Angeles... we'll be back. For good next time.

Best quotes of the trip:

Flight Attendant Man: "How did you like those popcorn chips?!"
Linze: "Those chips were BOMB!"
Flight Attendant Man cringes.
Courtney: "Yeah... That's one of those words you're not allowed to say on a plane..."

Linze: "Sometimes I dislike people because of their age, and then I think, 'wait, that's discrimination!' But then I remember... this is Tinder."

Courtney: "A midget! Oh my gosh, a midget! I matched with a midget on Tinder! ... Oops, I mean a little person."
*pause*
"We really need to move to California. There's so much potential here."

Linze: "I don't know what the deal is here in LA... Why... Why... Well, why does everyone like us?"
*pause*
"I think you guys need to leave... I might be having sex tonight."

Courtney: "What's a sadist?"
*Definition given*
"Well, why would he tattoo that on his arm?!"

I'm sure I said some awkward things (obviously), but I didn't write them down so oh well!

Just for kicks, here's a little Aerosmith. Dream on.

0 comments:

The Apartment Ad

10:57 AM Spence 0 Comments


Just in case you missed it... here is the ad I wrote to sell the contract for my apartment. If you know anyone looking, please pass the info along so I can sell this puppy. Gracias.
When I signed this contract for my senior year, I had a perfect life envisioned for myself. I was a single guy looking for the perfect BYU Bachelor Pad, and I found it. I can testify that you won't find anything better.
Things were going great, but everything changed within the blink of an eye when something unexpected came along... I got a new job. Yep, still single. Were you expecting a romantic BYU love story? Please... So, ladies- even though this apartment is a men's contract and not applicable to you, I am still very applicable. Anyway, my awesome new job is only 2 minutes from my parents' house in Salt Lake so I'm living with them. I've heard that's very beneficial for your dating life.
Have you ever lived in a place with carpet where you were scared to walk barefoot? Fear no more, my friends. This apartment home is laced with new(ish) carpet you can actually feel between your toes. None of that matted garbage. Sometimes I like to lay my head on the carpet just to be close to the fibers. If my parents didn't have similar carpet, I would not even consider moving. Honest.
You, sir, are about to live in the "master suite." It is the largest room I have ever seen and comes fully loaded with a desk fit for a king, a full-size dresser that smells of pine in the fall, a couch - yes, a couch in your room. It's leather. A perfect bachelor couch. My favorite thing to do on this couch is sit down and put my socks on. You have your own bathroom. No more sharing for you. You can now shower in your own filth. Also, did I mention the walk-in closet? Here's the thing, you can actually WALK-IN it. This is the one thing I cannot bear to leave. This closet is approx. 20 times the size of what my parents have to offer. No joke.
Then, there's the one thing I know you're wondering about... the bed. Sick of crappy, cheap apartment beds? Back still ache from those awful mission beds? Well, I have a treat for you. This is the most comfortable bed offered in BYU housing. It is also full-size so you have room to toss and turn when you're having nightmares about showing up to class in your underwear and forgetting that formula you memorized for your final exam. You won't even have to share the bed with anyone, nor can you! After all, this is BYU approved housing and your room is far south of the chastity line.
If you do want to entertain a lady friend, the couch in the front room is the greatest thing since sliced bread. I sat on it once and I never wanted to leave. You have an extremely long "corridor" on the way to your new room. It's a perfect place to practice if you plan on being a long-jumper or want to practice your back-handspring. You can get to your room with style and class.
If you don't have plans on a Friday night, never fear. Who needs a girlfriend when you have a front-loader washer and dryer?! Pull up a chair because you're going to enjoy a relaxing evening listening to some Rihanna, eating popcorn and watching your clothes go "round and around and around.." And if you're curious like me and have ever wondered what happens on the "permanent press" setting, you're in for a treat. No spoilers, you'll have to see for yourself! **Popcorn included.**
The internet is included with the contract. You will have covered parking. So whether you drive an Aston Martin or a Geo Metro, you won't be scraping snow off your car this winter. It seems like a long way away, but you'll be cursing yourself in December if you don't take this contract now.
The deposit is $300, which I am willing to pay for you. I understand the power of a good incentive. You know you want the perfect BYU bachelor pad until April 2014.
Questions? Comments? Concerns? Please email or text first

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This Guy.

9:22 PM Spence 0 Comments

There are a few things everyone should know about Tanner Berrett Minnick.


Before I begin, I must mention that my extremely gorgeous sister, Lauren, helped me put this together. (Guys... she's single).

We'll start with two quotes from two of Tanner's best friends. I think it's interesting that when you ask someone about Tan Man, they will all tell you the same thing: that he's one incredible guy. The ironic part is that Laur and I wrote most of this before we got these two quotes and they only further validate the image we were trying to portray.

"Here's the thing about Tanner: he is hard working, hilarious, stylish, loyal, hilarious, good looking, kind and ambitious all in one person. How can anybody compete with that? Tanner is my best friend. I can always count on my Tanner to support and love me in whatever I do. He is and always will be at the top of my favorite people list. I'd do anything for him. I'm so happy and blessed to have Tanner in my life. I love that child."
-Whitney Minnick

"First off, Tan is one of the most caring people you will ever meet. He would do anything for anyone! Tan is compassionate, hysterical, loving, perceptive, caring, uplifting, inspiring, unique and an absolutely amazing person. He always knows how to put a smile on your face, and exactly when you need a big hug. I know that he is ALWAYS there for me, no matter what! He's an incredible role model and I look up to him so much. He's taught me to be proud of who I am and not worry what others think. He's got a special spark to him that makes you feel accepted. Tan has so much potential, that I know he will reach. I couldn't ask for a better friend than him and I'm so grateful to have him be a part of my life. You can't help but giggle when you're around him and to be honest, I never get sick of him. He'll be such a successful man with the dedication and determination he has. I have no doubt that he will always be in my life and I'm so thankful for that fact. He's comfortable in his own skin and I'm so proud of him for that. I love Tan to the moon and back!"
-CC Stokes

Tanner is an incredibly talented ribbon dancer.

"The first time I ever met him, he ribbon danced for me. I knew I loved him instantly."
-Linze Struiksma


Some of you may know that this is the "talent" Tanner used to audition for the Peer Leadership Team at Alta High and of course, he made it! Some of you may be thinking, "Ribbon dancing... really?"

Yes, really.

Tanner is uninhibited. He is brave. He is not afraid to do things that others will not. Whether he truly wants to do it or in the case of ribbon dancing, because it's hysterical, Tanner is not afraid.

Also, if you ever need to smile, I would suggest asking Tan Man to teach you how to "twerk." Apparently that's a thing.

Tanner is uninhibited.

This section goes really well with the last one.

"The thing I love about Tanner is that he honestly marches to the beat of his own drum and doesn't care what anyone else thinks. He does what he wants to do and that is a really powerful and inspiring quality he has."
-Linze Struiksma

"Tanner always thinks outside the box. In fact, I'm fairly certain he doesn't even know what 'the box' is."
-Mom

Tanner is unique in this sense because while the rest of us are stewing about what everyone else will think of us, he is ten steps ahead of everyone. Because of this, Tanner is able to do things that nobody else can. I wish I could be more like him in this aspect.

Tanner has a better fashion sense than the rest of us put together.

This kid is a stud. Nuff said. (Also, he gladly claims the role of "Spencer's personal shopper..." but only on the days when I actually look decent).

Observe.



Tanner has a heart of gold.

It is unlikely that you will ever find someone as kind and caring as this guy. In fact, I would say that he often cares to a fault sometimes. He is constantly worried about others and concerned for their well-being. From great things, like raising $5,000 in the matter of a few months to go and serve in India to small things like cleaning my extremely messy room after I got dumped, he is always finding ways to help and serve others.

Because of this, Tanner is probably the most loved person I know. I do not know a single person that can say anything bad about him. (Unless they made it up!) Maybe that's putting him on a pedestal a little bit, but he deserves to be there.

Along these lines, he is also one of the more loyal advocates you can have on your side. He will go down fighting for you even if he knows that you know you're wrong. (That makes sense... it does... reread it). Somewhere in the past 4 years, Tan Man has changed from a pesky little brother to one of the best friends I could ever ask for. I trust this kid with my life, and I don't give out that compliment often.

"Tanner LOVES talking and he has always made us laugh. The ironic thing is that it is actually his listening abilities that draw people to him. He gets MANY calls from people who need to share, cry or vent. His loyalty, ability to keep confidences and wisdom make him a good friend."
-Mom 

Tanner is hysterical.

"He is so funny. So so funny."
-Lauren

I like to this that this kid inherited my wit. At least I hope I'm partially as funny as he is. I kid you not, since he started talking at 9-months-old, he has only spoken in full sentences and hasn't shut up for 17 years and 3 months. But as he kept talking, he kept getting funnier.

At two years old, he was in his car seat and he said, "Mom, I pooped my pants!"

A distraught mother replied, "What?!"

Tanner grinned back and said, "Made ya look!"

I cannot think of anything more fun than being in the car with my family when Tanner is on a roll. It just keeps going and going... I basically don't even have to do ab workouts because I can get a six pack just from having a conversation.

From seriously awkward moments to his crazy obsession with reality TV shows, you can count on Tanner for a good laugh. One of our most recent "Tanner Moments" happened when he renamed everyone in our family with a Kardashian name. Of course Tanner is the funny one so he gets to be Khloe. Lauren is the pretty one so she is Kim. Apparently I'm the bratty one that gets what she wants so I'm Kourtney. Great...

You will often hear Tanner talking about how he needs to get in touch with Kim and Kourt to resolve an issue. Those are NOT the real Kardashians. They're better. Because hello, it's us.

"As he is driving down I-15, a bug hits the windshield and he says, 'bugs really shouldn't fly by the freeway.'"
-Dad

Tanner is going skydiving for his 18th birthday/graduation present!

Surprise!!!

It's already planned and the deposit is down, so there is no backing out now Tan Man! You are jumping out of that plane, damn it.

Laur and I wanted to get you something that you would always remember and have always wanted to do. It will be fun to go and do it together. (Mom... stop hyperventilating, we'll be fine!) Also, heaven knows you don't need anymore clothes... sheesh...

Happy Birthday, kid!
We love you!

From left to right: Khloe, Kim and Kourtney. If you need the Minnick personalities in a photo, here they are.




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The New Job Journal. Part 1.

7:07 PM Spence 0 Comments

If you know me, you know that part of the reason I have a blog is to post all some of the awkward and uncomfortable things that happen in my life.

Along those lines... if you're keeping up with this blog (which is like 2 entries long), you are also familiar with the fact that I just started a new job. The intention of this entry (and let's face it, there will be more to follow) is to give you an idea into my daily dilemmas by simply following my day to day work life.

One of my all-time favorite movie quotes comes from Fun with Dick and Jane. After Dick loses his job, he and Jane start robbing banks to preserve their lifestyle. At one point in the movie, Jane looks are her husband and says,

"I think we're in a bit of a pickle, Dick."

I'm not going to lie to you. That phrase goes through my head at least once a day. Because as you know (Melissa Prins... ahem), I always seem to be in a little bit of a pickle.

Observe.

Day #1 at the new job:

Of course I asked my new boss what the dress code is, right? I want to make sure that I'm dressed just like everyone else. Showing up in a tuxedo is a little much and cut-off shorts might give away the fact that my previous co-workers referred to me as "Tobais." (Another story for another day... or not). He tells me, "Business casual." So what do I do? I show up in slacks and a button-down shirt. Normal.

Nope.

Everyone else was in jeans and shorts. Let's be clear though--overdressed is better than under-dressed. It is also better than my worst nightmare of showing up to work undressed. This dilemma wasn't so horrible. I was feeling great, lookin' classy and doin' bidness.  That is... until lunch when I sat on my brownie and didn't even know it.

I can hear the conversations that probably took place that day.

New co-worker #1: "Hey... who's that new guy...?"
New co-worker #2: "I don't know... Wait, you mean the one with skid marks on his pants?!"

Perfect.

Day #2 at the new job:

Day 2 was by far the worst yet. I live in a city about 25-30 miles away from my new job. It's a commute, but that was outweighed by dollars when deciding to take the job. My decision. It's fine.

On day 2, I made a horrible, terrible mistake. I was supposed to arrive at my new job at 8:00 am sharp. I had a lot to do that day.

Where was Spencer at 8:00 am?
In his bed?
     No.
Eating breakfast?
     No.
Showering?
     Nope.
Picking out what to wear?
     Hell no. I was in jeans.
So where was I?

I was getting out of my car to walk into my OLD job 30 miles away. Yep, walking right into the building as if I had never left. Auto-pilot drove me straight there. That was an embarrassing conversation to have with my new boss...

Me: "I promise, sir, I really do want to be here. My mind just keeps talking me elsewhere."

Note to self: While driving to work on the second day at your new job, it would be beneficial to remember that your new office is *probably* not in the same building as your old job... or the same city... or the same 30 mile radius.

Epic whoops.

Days 3-5 have already happened. And there are stories. But I will let your poor, tired, little mind rest while you try to recover from understanding what the hell goes on in Spencer's head.

'Til next time...




0 comments:

Property Solutions

1:28 PM Spence 0 Comments

Last week I closed a chapter of my life that I wouldn't mind re-living.

If you know me at all, you know that's a big deal. Usually I'm all about change and moving on.

My employment at Property Solutions came at a much needed time in my life. I was struggling with the idea of moving back to Provo. I needed a change in my work environment. And I needed to find more friends.

On the first day of training at PSI, I met my first new friend, Ms. Alicia Moss. We started laughing during training and spent the next two weeks trying not to make eye-contact so we could remain professional. From there, I felt like everyone in our department became my real friend.

Me and Alicia being dorks. Surprise!
Property Solutions has five core values that we focus on as a company. In my opinion, the company values are not just posted on the wall, but they are things that the company and its associates truly strive to become.

The five are:
  1. Be the Real Deal
  2. Be the Joneses
  3. Talk to Me Goose
  4. Be Excellent to Each Other
  5. Business in the Front, Party in the Back

While I believe that the Leasing Center at Property Solutions exemplifies each of these qualities, I would like to mention the two that most impacted me during my time there.

Be Excellent to Each Other

I have never before been a part of such a small group of people where so many large tragedies struck. I kid you not. Multiple cases of cancer, deaths within immediate families, accidents, other major illnesses and various personal tragedies seemed to plague my friends.

But we were a family.


Shifts were constantly being covered by concerned co-workers, meals were taken to those in need, money was raised for those with medical expenses and many prayers were offered from various faiths for those who were struggling.

This department is excellent to each other.

I cannot even begin to list the names of my friends who helped me through some pretty hard times. I would have to give the name of almost every single person in our department during my time at PSI.

Business in the Front, Party in the Back

Employment demands professionalism. We all know that. It is my opinion that Property Solutions has found a unique blend of professionalism and partyism. I don't care if that's a real world. It's my blog and I do what I want.

The environment created and allowed in the PSI workplace makes it easy to become more than just co-workers, but real friends. I felt like I could trust my co-workers with my life and at the same time I enjoyed going to work because I was excited to spend time with these people. Weird, I know. Every day was professional (mostly). Every day was a party (mostly).

To answer your question... 8 chairs and 5 people.
Hollywood (my Dorito and I, her Bacon) partied hard every Saturday at 5:00 am.
Linds, RiRi and I as stick figures.
I did not expect to leave Property Solutions so suddenly, but I was offered a great opportunity that I couldn't turn down. I will always be grateful for my time spent there.

I am looking forward to my new opportunity with TazWorks and I hope I can find a lot of similar experiences there as well.

I miss you PSI friends! Let's be friends even though I won't see you every day.

0 comments:

Spencer Tells All

12:01 PM Spence 0 Comments

Spoiler alert: This isn't really a “tell all” as much as it is a “tell most some.”

“Why is Spencer starting a new blog?” you ask.

I started my other blog shortly after I returned home from my mission. In an attempt to continue sending letters home on Mondays, I tried to keep the blog completely uplifting 100 percent of the time. In the last three years, however, I have come to realize that's not real life.

I am a real person with real experiences. I do my best to be a good person, but I make mistakes. Lots of them. Until about six months ago, I was completely ashamed of myself. I always wanted to be anyone but me. This is not an attempt to receive pity, sympathy or advice. I don't need it. This is an attempt for me to understand life as it really is. Emphasis on what's real. Spencer Unscripted will not be a pessimistic run-on, but it will be life as I see it.

The good. The bad. Emotional. Sarcastic. Honest. Spontaneous. Adventurous. Dramatic. Reflective. Sincere. Anxious. Real. Imperfect.

This is life according to Spencer. My opinion. My terms. My experiences.

Don't agree? Don't care.
Don't like it? Don't read it.

I'm done doing the things that make everyone else happy and from now on, I'm doing what makes me happy. I've wasted too much time caring what everyone else thinks of me.

Now, you may be wondering, “So, if you don't care, why are you posting this online?”

Valid question.

  1. I like writing. It helps me process.
  2. I enjoy reading blogs. I like learning about other people and understanding through life experiences.
  3. If what I have to say helps someone learn something about themselves or helps someone else to be happy for even a moment, that's worth it to me.

If there's one thing I've learned this last year, it's that everyone deserves to be happy and no one else decides what that entails. YOU do.

You'll soon learn that I admire Abraham Lincoln. The man had wisdom beyond his time. He said:

“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

That is not to say that the process is instant. Decide what makes you happy and start doing it. That's what I'm going to do.

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