The New Job Journal. Part 1.

7:07 PM Spence 0 Comments

If you know me, you know that part of the reason I have a blog is to post all some of the awkward and uncomfortable things that happen in my life.

Along those lines... if you're keeping up with this blog (which is like 2 entries long), you are also familiar with the fact that I just started a new job. The intention of this entry (and let's face it, there will be more to follow) is to give you an idea into my daily dilemmas by simply following my day to day work life.

One of my all-time favorite movie quotes comes from Fun with Dick and Jane. After Dick loses his job, he and Jane start robbing banks to preserve their lifestyle. At one point in the movie, Jane looks are her husband and says,

"I think we're in a bit of a pickle, Dick."

I'm not going to lie to you. That phrase goes through my head at least once a day. Because as you know (Melissa Prins... ahem), I always seem to be in a little bit of a pickle.

Observe.

Day #1 at the new job:

Of course I asked my new boss what the dress code is, right? I want to make sure that I'm dressed just like everyone else. Showing up in a tuxedo is a little much and cut-off shorts might give away the fact that my previous co-workers referred to me as "Tobais." (Another story for another day... or not). He tells me, "Business casual." So what do I do? I show up in slacks and a button-down shirt. Normal.

Nope.

Everyone else was in jeans and shorts. Let's be clear though--overdressed is better than under-dressed. It is also better than my worst nightmare of showing up to work undressed. This dilemma wasn't so horrible. I was feeling great, lookin' classy and doin' bidness.  That is... until lunch when I sat on my brownie and didn't even know it.

I can hear the conversations that probably took place that day.

New co-worker #1: "Hey... who's that new guy...?"
New co-worker #2: "I don't know... Wait, you mean the one with skid marks on his pants?!"

Perfect.

Day #2 at the new job:

Day 2 was by far the worst yet. I live in a city about 25-30 miles away from my new job. It's a commute, but that was outweighed by dollars when deciding to take the job. My decision. It's fine.

On day 2, I made a horrible, terrible mistake. I was supposed to arrive at my new job at 8:00 am sharp. I had a lot to do that day.

Where was Spencer at 8:00 am?
In his bed?
     No.
Eating breakfast?
     No.
Showering?
     Nope.
Picking out what to wear?
     Hell no. I was in jeans.
So where was I?

I was getting out of my car to walk into my OLD job 30 miles away. Yep, walking right into the building as if I had never left. Auto-pilot drove me straight there. That was an embarrassing conversation to have with my new boss...

Me: "I promise, sir, I really do want to be here. My mind just keeps talking me elsewhere."

Note to self: While driving to work on the second day at your new job, it would be beneficial to remember that your new office is *probably* not in the same building as your old job... or the same city... or the same 30 mile radius.

Epic whoops.

Days 3-5 have already happened. And there are stories. But I will let your poor, tired, little mind rest while you try to recover from understanding what the hell goes on in Spencer's head.

'Til next time...




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