Duck... Duck... Tinder.

5:29 PM Spence 1 Comments

Think about it for a second. What games did everyone play as a child? Have things really changed all that much?

I vote that they haven't.

So I digress...

When I was young and playing "duck, duck, goose!" I loved being the goose.

But why, you ask?

Well, when you were playing, didn't you always call everyone a duck except for the person you wanted chasing you? Maybe it was subconscious, but I guarantee you did it too.

You picked your favorite person in the group and made them your goose. 

Yep.

I loved the feeling of being someone's goose, and I wanted them to be my goose too.

Have I really been a hopeless romantic from the tender age of 4?
Possibly. But that's not the point I'm trying to make.

My first point: The childish games aren't over.

Tinder is simply a virtual adult version of duck duck goose.

Proof of my "Tinderness."

I will be the first to admit that I was one of my first friends to download Tinder on my iPhone. It was hella fun. If I wasn't attracted to someone, I'd swipe left. When I finally stumbled across a cute one, I swiped right. And then I'd wait... for that person to chase me back.

It doesn't matter if one person doesn't {heart} you, because someone else will.

This isn't only a game we're playing with other people, we're playing it with ourselves too.
How many people will like us back?
How attractive will they be?
Will this one be cuter than the last?
Will my self-esteem increase? (Yes, it will, believe me).
It will increase when you see how many people want to make you their goose! (Even if they're only planning to do so for one night...).

My second point: It's a terrible way to date.

A few of my Tinder matches that were already my friends!
... And my cousin...

... Finding love is terrible in and of itself. Why would we put ourselves through yet another chase?

My first "real" Tinder experience was AWFUL. I found someone who I thought was attractive. We went on dates--quiet a few of them, actually. I loved the fact that we didn't know any of the same people. There were no inhibitions, no skeletons to hide and nothing to lie about.

... Or so I thought.

Come to find out, I had been terribly lied to. This person used Tinder as an opportunity to take advantage of me. And, it took me almost 2 months to figure that out.

Do I feel like my "Tinder Lover" actually cared about me?

Yes, I do. But I don't think it was enough to truly care for my well-being more than their own. But I can't say that I expect that after knowing someone for such a short amount of time either.

I had picked this person to be my goose. I even ran a little bit slower than normal just hoping to get caught and then, after I sat down, my Tinder Lover found another duck to love.

So I waited... for someone else to call me "goose."

My third point: It can be good, too.

Some more Tinder Lover Friends. If you look closely, you'll see
my cheek is actually cropped of the photo on the bottom right.
All of you who know me well are ready this saying, "What the heck...? He told me to get the app!"

It's true. I did, but why?

Because while you're sitting there in a circle full of ducks, someone is looking to make you their goose. You just have to wait your turn.

In a way, I feel like Tinder has taught me a few things:

  1. If you know what you want, go for it. It's not bad to be attracted to certain physical characteristics, but not everything can be based on that. Take time to get to know someone.
  2. If you feel like no one is attracted to you, swipe right a few times and you'll be surprised to find that maybe you're just a little too hard on yourself. Give yourself a chance because someone else is willing to.
  3. If you have a hard time feeling comfortable making conversation on date, this is a good start. Even if you just use opportunities such as these to practice, you can be bold without worrying about the reaction on the other end of the dinner table. You can't see the person, so what can it hurt? Be open, be yourself and get to know someone you may never meet otherwise.
  4. If you have trust issues, be careful. If you don't have trust issues, be careful. But most of all, don't give people a reason not to trust you. Be a stand up person. Remember that there is not a robot on the other side of that app, there is a person and all they want is to find their goose.
More Tinder Lover Friend matches! Love you all.

I admit my first Tinder experience didn't go so well. However, I tried it again and guess what? 

I had a really good experience. I got to know someone I really care about. I had a much needed wake up call. And I learned a lot about myself.

This last one didn't end how I would have liked. There's no use in hiding that. But even so, I don't regret it.

So, for now, I will slowly walk back to my place among the circle of ducks and wait for someone to make me their goose. And then I'll chase them. And I will catch them. However, it may or may not be on Tinder or similar dating apps. I'll take it as it comes.

It's just too bad that no one wins at duck duck goose. Who made up that game anyway?! And how do you know when it's over?

Just play. And enjoy it while it lasts.

And then sometimes you find your best friend and just need to have a little fun... :)

1 comment:

  1. I'm glad we found each other on Tinder... It was tender. :)
    *Saw that one coming, huh?*

    ReplyDelete